In a world dominated by social media, influencers, and unbridled ambition, I frequently wonder, are we really living our own lives, or are we living to satisfy others, to show off, to get a good reputation?
Are we going to college to academically, socially, and culturally enrich ourselves, or are we going to get a degree and some networks? Are we planning to go into jobs that fulfill our desire to make a better world, or are we selling our souls to make money, or worse, to look good? Are the flicks for Instagram more important than the actual connections we have with people? Do people engage in social justice initiatives because they really believe in the causes, or because they get social credit for doing so?
These are all questions that I ponder over and over again. We live in a world so dominated by appearance that it seems we scarcely do things for ourselves anymore. Since I am very conscious of this phenomenon, I work hard to take back ownership of my own life and would like to share suggestions that work for me.
1. Don’t change in order to fit other peoples’ expectations– There are a lot of people at WashU, and you will eventually find people who like you for who you are. It will not always be the first group of people you meet, or the second, or the third. My closest friends here are almost entirely people I met (or at least got close with) late freshman year or early sophomore year. Take advantage of the fact that you are around almost 8,000 other students, in order to get to meet people until you find ones who like and respect you for who you are
2. Prioritize doing things that you can’t do at other points in life– Again, college gives unique opportunities you will likely never get in the rest of your life. You are surrounded by smart, motivated, interesting peers who want to have fun and explore. The 4 year period at WashU will be the only time most students live in St. Louis, so go explore the city and what it has to offer. If you’ve never been to a sporting event, hit a Cardinals or Blues game. If you have never been to a museum, check out the Science Center, Art Museum, and Missouri History Museum. If you’ve never gone to a club, go on your 21st birthday. When a neat event or interesting speaker comes to campus, make time for it. Capitalizing on these unique experiences will allow you to explore and enrich yourself, and chart a truly unique college experience that you can derive meaning from.
3. Involve yourself in at least 1 activity you really care about– We are all busy, and juggling a constant stream of coursework, extracurriculars, and a social life. While getting good grades and setting yourself up for a good job are certainly important, pursuit of these goals should not be so absolute that you do not have time for some outside activity or
cause you are deeply interested in. Learn a new skill, grab a new hobby, change the world. We are in a unique spot to be able to have nearly any experience or opportunity we want to embark on- use it!
4. Be your authentic self on all social media apps. Post the things you enjoy, interact with the content you believe in, and do not take it personally if somebody has more followers or comments or a higher snap score. It isn’t personal. If you are equipped with the mindset that the people in your contacts or the number of happy birthday wishes you receive matter less than posting the people and places you truly enjoy, social media becomes a liberating experience rather than a stressful one. Most people deep down envy a person willing to put up to quirky posts because it shows they are still human and living for themselves.
Of course, you should try to be there for other people, share their joys and their sorrows, help connect others to the people and experiences and opportunities that will enrich them, and just have fun. Being there for other people is very different from living our lives to please them. The former is based on lending empathy and a helping hand, the latter lending away the joy and fulfillment of your life.
It’s never too late to take back the helm on the ship of life. Do it before the ship hits the iceberg and shatters into pieces.